The following is merely my answer based on my personal resourcefulness with what limited research I could find about the subject, which was admittedly little to none about two bridesmaids being matrons of honor at the same time. So please take that into consideration when reading this article.
For starters, if anyone can be either a maid or matron of honor without being married first, they are considered both ‘brides’ and cannot share responsibility in regards to their duties as members of the wedding party (the most important of which is helping the bride stay calm and carefree on her big day). How about that?
Sorry ladies, but it looks like this really would not work out after all. Another reason why having two bridesmaids or two matrons of honor could be problematic is because by splitting up the duties in terms of what each one does for the bride during the wedding ceremony and/or reception (if there even is one), both women trying to fit their responsibilities into a reasonable timeframe will most likely not be able to do so.
Even if they can, who knows how much stress this will cause them causing further animosity among themselves which may lead to conflict later down the line with other members of your wedding party (the last thing you need when planning any kind of event).
The last thing you want is for your friends and family to be pointing fingers at each other instead of having fun with you. Another equally important reason why many wedding experts recommend not choosing two matrons or maids of honor is that they will most likely also be splitting the bridesmaids’ duties between them as well (i.e., sharing responsibilities like pinning on corsages and throwing the bouquet, etc); and again, splitting up any tasks pertaining to your ceremony or reception could cause further problems among all members of your wedding party which will only lead to more unnecessary stress.
If I were you, I would ask both women if they are willing to participate in this kind of arrangement before making a final decision as to who is going to be your one and only maid of honor. If they both agree, then go ahead and choose the person you feel will make a better fit for this role as it should not matter which one of them does so just as long as someone takes on the responsibility of helping you stay calm and collected on this big day and doing everything possible to make sure that happens, including taking care of things like filling out all necessary paperwork that goes along with becoming an ordained minister (for example) if you do not already have one lined up, etc.
However, if they both refuse or cannot agree on who gets the job, I would simply ask whom among these two women seems more willing to do whatever needs to be done throughout this entire process and go with that one.
The bottom line is that having two maids of honor or matrons of honor to perform these duties at the same time will almost always cause problems, so please keep this in mind before going ahead with your decision.
Although I would not recommend it, if you have no other choice but to choose two women who are willing to do both jobs, then I would recommend choosing a very experienced wedding planner to help you deal with any issues as they come up during the planning stages and day-of so you can focus on other things like worrying about how you look instead of whether or not someone forgot a task somebody else should be doing for you (if there even is another person).
Two maids of honour or one? Historical Facts
Throughout most of history having two bridesmaids is the norm but there are some situations where not having an extra set of hands is considered preferable. Let us discuss which is better for you and why.
A large number of people believe that during the Victorian era it was tradition to have two bridesmaids per bride. This statement isn’t entirely wrong as typically, depending on the time period and location, it would be more appropriate to stick with this formula. However today most weddings don’t follow the same rules and traditions as the Victorian era and it is not entirely necessary for all brides to be accompanied by two maids of honor.
The decision about whether or not you should have an extra set of hands will ultimately depend on the number of attendants, your family situation, and your wedding location. Today most weddings opt to hire a professional wedding planner who will take care of every detail connected to the big day so you won’t need to worry about much other than deciding who your co-matrons are going to be. This means that if you decide not to have any bridesmaids at all, there’s no need for an additional pair of bridal attendants because they’ll be provided for you by either your supplier or your planner. If, however, you decide to go with a pair of maids of honor, the number may vary and differ from region to region.
For example, such regions as Australia only require the bride to be accompanied by one maid or matron of honor. In fact, in New South Wales for example it is not allowed to have two bridesmaids per bride; this law was mentioned in section 23 – “Particular marriage ceremonies prohibited” subsection (a) and 27 – “Certain marriages not legal”. Therefore if you’re getting married there and want your grandmother as a co-matron it’s perfectly fine but even if you’re surrounded by six best friends who would die for the opportunity, they can’t all be part of your party unless at least one of them is a bridesmaid.
In conclusion, it would save a lot of fuss and arguments to have only one matron of honor. If they are two vying for the position clearly pick one and make this clear way before the wedding.